Diversity Slickers

By Bill Maher

 Republicans are trying to figure out the best way to set up their 2016 primary races. Dark lord Reince Priebus thinks the big problem last time was too many debates. Sure, that’s the solution: Republicans hiding their ugly ideas from the public longer – then voters would be all over them. And Utah just passed a bill to try and leapfrog Iowa and New Hampshire as the first state to vote. Just what the GOP needs to solve the lack of diversity in those other two states: Utah.   

I have an idea: since these early voting states are really just large focus groups, and the parties can do whatever they want, why not hold their first contest in a city? How about right here in Los Angeles? We have four million people here – more than Iowa and Utah – and about three times as many as New Hampshire.

It would be a really good idea for both parties, actually, but Republicans especially. It could save them, because they’d have to appeal to voters outside of states that have never seen a Mexican before (unless you count George Lopez on TV). Marco Rubio wouldn’t be all but kicked out of contention because he championed a comprehensive immigration bill – everybody else would be joining him. And Paul Ryan wouldn’t have to theorize about what inner cities are like – he could actually go to one.