Doing Porn to Pay for College: A Wise Choice

By Bill Maher

By now everyone’s heard of Miriam Weeks, the Duke University freshman who’s been making hardcore porn to help pay the $45,000 per year Duke charges so she can get a degree in (no joke) Women’s Studies. As Miriam points out, she likes sex a lot, and it pays better than waitressing, so why not? Well, here’s why not: because fair or not, future employers tend to not want to hire porn actors. If there are two applicants for a position, and one appears, as Miriam does, on a site called FacialAbuse.com getting choked and called a dirty whore, and the other doesn’t, who do you think is getting the job?

That said, if she graduates without a gigantic loan she needs to pay off, maybe taking a little facial abuse is worth it?

According to a new study, the job market for teenagers – and Miriam is still a teenager – is worse than during the Great Depression. Even if Miriam wanted to pay her way through school serving hot dogs at Wienerschnitzel, there are no jobs at Wienerschnitzel. So instead she’s taking wieners in her schnitzel.